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Personal Ads Translated

Categories: Miscellaneous
Added: Mon Apr 16 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 2,920
Rating: - (0 votes)
The Procrastinator's CreedTips For Moving South >
Submitted by humor-source
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ADS FROM WOMEN

40-ish..................48 <br>
Adventurer..............Has had more partners than you ever will 
<br>
Athletic................Flat-chested <br>
Average looking.........Ugly <br>
Beautiful...............Pathological liar <br>
Contagious Smile........Bring your penicillin <br>
Educated................College dropout <br>
Emotionally Secure......Medicated <br>
Feminist................Fat; ball buster <br>
Free spirit.............Substance user <br>
Friendship first........Trying to live down reputation as slut 
<br>
Fun.....................Annoying <br>
Gentle..................Comatose <br>
Good Listener...........Borderline Autistic <br>
New-Age.................All body hair, all the time <br>
Old-fashioned...........Lights out, missionary position only <br>
Open-minded.............Desperate <br>
Outgoing................Loud <br>
Passionate..............Loud <br>
Poet....................Depressive Schzophrenic <br>
Professional............Real Witch <br>
Redhead.................Shops the Clairol section <br>
Reubenesque.............Grossly Fat <br>
Romantic................Looks better by candle light <br>
Voluptuous..............Very Fat <br>
Wants Soulmate..........One step away from stalking <br>
Widow...................Nagged first husband to death <br>
Young at heart..........Toothless crone

ADS FROM MEN



40-ish………………52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic…………….Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking………Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &
back
Educated…………….Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit………….Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first……..As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun…………………Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking…………Arrogant
Honest………………Pathological Liar
Huggable…………….Overweight, more body hair than a bear

Like to cuddle……….Insecure, overly dependent
Mature………………Until you get to know him
Open-minded………….Wants to sleep with your sister but she’s
not interested
Physically fit……….I spend a lot of time in front of mirror
admiring myself
Poet………………..Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual……………Once went to church with his grandmother
on Easter Sunday
Stable………………Occasional stalker, but never arrested

Thoughtful…………..Says "Please" when demanding
a beer


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Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
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