Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the
cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take
care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say
you should need.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and
you all share the milk.
Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker
about who has the most "ability" and who has the most
"need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk,
and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government
takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell
it on the black market.
Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia
takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell
it on the "free" market.
Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever
existed. Milk is banned.
Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets
the milk.
British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps’ brains and they go mad.
The government doesn’t do anything.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can
feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours
the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.
Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Capitalism
You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy
cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.
Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing
them.
Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is
a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past)
two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines
of non-specified gender.
Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.
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