This paper was turned in by an Oakland
High school student who received the highest honors at the school
district’s ebonics translation competition.
Assignment: Please translate the following Rap song lyrics from Ebonics
to standard English.
Artist: Notorious B.I.G. Album: Ready to Die Song: One more chance
(remix)
Lyrics: First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys Dummies
- playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money Those the ones I like ‘cause
they don’t get nathan’ But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs Heart throb, never, black and ugly
as ever However, I stay coochied down to the socks Rings and watch
filled with rocks
TRANSLATION: As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with
women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited
intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly
enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally
disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse
and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent
basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage
in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality
is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.
Lyrics: And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi Girls pee pee when they
see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee As I lay down laws like
I lay carpet Stop it – if you think your gonna make a profit
TRANS: I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently,
women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when
they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American
reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women
attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me
of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.
Lyrics: Don’t see my ones, don’t see my guns – get it Now tell
ya friends Poppa hit it then split it In two as I flow with the
Junior Mafia I don’t know what the hell’s stoppin’ ya I’m clockin’
ya – Versace shades watchin’ ya Once ya grin, I’m in game, begin
TRANS: Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor
my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged
in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates,
the Junior Mafia. I’m having some difficulty understanding why you
refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with
you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with
a smile, I will approach you.
Lyrics: First I talk about how I dress and this And diamond necklaces
- stretch Lexuses The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
Deeper and deeper – help ya reach the Climax that your man can’t
make Call and tell him you’ll be home real late Let’s sing the break
TRANS: I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about
my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of
expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have
sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further
into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be
able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your
current sexual partner. He needn’t be concerned about your whereabouts.
Please phone him and inform him that you won’t be home for a while.
By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.
Lyrics: She’s sick of that song on how it’s so long Thought he
worked his until I handled my biz There I is – major pain like Damon
Wayans Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan Schemin’ – don’t
bring your girl ’round me True player for real, ask Puff Daddy
TRANS: Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your
fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual
intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper
way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It
would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as
my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff
Daddy.
Lyrics: You – ringin’ bells with bags from Chanel Baby Benz, traded
in your Hyundai Excel Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell She
beeped me, meet me at twelve
TRANS: Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep
with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model
Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle)
containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman
has contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous
at midnight.
Lyrics: Where you at? Flippin’ jobs, playin’ car notes? While I’m
swimmin’ in ya women like the breast stroke Right stroke, left stroke
what’s the best stroke Death stroke – tongue all down her throat
Nuthin’ left to do but send her home to you I’m through – can ya
sing the song for me, boo?
TRANS: You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able
to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your
woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and
commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option
is to request that she leave my home and return to you because I
have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for her presence.
Lyrics: So, what’s it gonna be? Him or me? We can cruise the world
with pearls Gator boots for girls The envy of all women, crushed
linen Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in ‘em The finest women I
love with a passion Ya man’s a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin’
TRANS: The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose
as your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world.
I will dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be
envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There
is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat
your man in an altercation because he is effeminate.
Lyrics: High fashion – flyin’ into all states. Sexin’ me while
your man masturbates. Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight.
Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds. Lyrically I’m supposed
to represent. I’m not only the client, I’m the player president
TRANS: You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of
Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and
jewelry. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man
will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What
a life! I’ll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o’clock
flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with
a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o’clock. I’ll seduce
her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive
reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic,
immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of
directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.
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