Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins
talking about him/herself.
When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
Without asking, eat off of your date’s plate. Eat more from their
plate then they do.
Chew w/ your mouth open, and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere
near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say,
"I’m all about conservation."
Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed
in front of you.
Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess
and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant.
Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask them,"What
took you so long in the bathroom."
Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You’ll need to be more persuasive
in fancier restaurants w/ linen tablecloths.
Howl and whistle at women’s legs, especially if you are female.
Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows,
with a good view of all exits, and where your back will be facing
a wall. Act nervous.
Occasionally speak in Pig Latin.
Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date’s.
Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
Don’t use any verbs during conversations.
Stand up every 5 minutes, circle your table w/ your arms outstretched,
and make airplane sounds.
"Discreetly" fill your pockets w/ sugar packets, napkins,
salt shakers, silverware, floral arrangements, etc.
Attempt to auction your date off to people nearby.
After getting your food, slide under the table. Take your plate
Order a baked potato. When waiter brigs your food, hide the potato,
wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you never
got. When the waiter returns w/ another potato, make sure the first
one is back on your plate.
If your date is paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Take one bite, pretend like the food is disgusting and say, "Man
did you get ripped off."
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Read a newspaper or book during the meal.