I’ve received the following virus
alert and thought I’d pass it along to you – you may wish to warn
the others in your office!
This is deadly serious, so don’t ignore it. Several new viruses
have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the US national
system.
Beware of…
THE AL GORE Virus…. (Causes your computer to just keep counting
and counting)
THE CLINTON Virus…. (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO Memory)
THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus… (Makes a new hard drive out
of an old floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus… (Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then Emails everyone about what it did)
THE MIKE TYSON virus…. (Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus…. (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb,
then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus… (Deletes all old files)
THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus… (Disks can no longer be inserted)
THE PROZAC virus… (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn’t care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus… (Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus… (Terminates some files, leaves,
but will be back)
...and my personal favourite…
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus… (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5
inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)
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