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Actual Classified Ads

Categories: Bloopers / Out of Context
Added: Fri May 25 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 11,930
Rating: 3.67 (3 votes)
Acting ReligiousActual Headlines >
Submitted by humor-source
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The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers:


FREE PUPPIES:

1/2 COCKER SPANIEL

1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG


-———————————————————


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.


-———————————————————


1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/offer


-———————————————————-


AMANA WASHER $100.

OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.


-———————————————————


SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE

ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.


-———————————————————


FREE PUPPIESPART GERMAN SHEPHERDPART STUPID DOG


-———————————————————


2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:

One 5-finger, One 3-finger, PAIR: $15


-———————————————————


TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS

OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION

$6800


-———————————————————


83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000


-———————————————————-


STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15


-———————————————————-


SOFT and GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE

89 cents


-———————————————————


GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.

NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.


-———————————————————


FREE 1 CAN OF PORK and BEANS

WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.


-———————————————————


NORDIC TRACK $300

HARDLY USED ***************

CALL CHUBBIE ***************


-———————————————————


BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING

“WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS


-———————————————————


FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.

LOOKS LIKE A RAT

BEEN OUT A WHILE..

BETTER BE REWARD.


-———————————————————


GEORGIA PEACHES

CALIFORNIA GROWN

89 cents lb.


-———————————————————


FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.


-———————————————————


TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?

WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.

STARTING PAY: $7 – $9 PER HOUR.


-———————————————————


OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB

AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.


-———————————————————


GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.


-———————————————————


OPEN HOUSE

BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON

FREE COFFEE and DONUTS


-———————————————————


KELLOGG’S POT TARTS – $1.99 box


-———————————————————


FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN – $2.09 lb.


-———————————————————


FOR SALE BY OWNER

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.

Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer

needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


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