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Actual Classified Ads

Categories: Bloopers / Out of Context
Added: Fri May 25 00:00:00 MDT 2001Views: 7,360
Rating: 1.00 (1 vote)
Acting ReligiousActual Headlines >
Submitted by humor-source
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The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers:

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG

-------

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

-------

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB—$850/offer

-------

AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

-------

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

-------

FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERDPART STUPID DOG

-------

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
One 5-finger, One 3-finger, PAIR: $15

-------

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS
OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION
$6800

-------

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK—$2000

-------

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT—$15

-------

SOFT and GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
89 cents

-------

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

-------

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK and BEANS
WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.

-------

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED *
CALL CHUBBIE
*

-------

BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING
“WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS

-------

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT
BEEN OUT A WHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

-------

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN
89 cents lb.

-------

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

-------

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 – $9 PER HOUR.

-------

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

-------

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

-------

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE and DONUTS

-------

KELLOGG’S POT TARTS – $1.99 box

-------

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN – $2.09 lb.

-------

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


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Latest Comments
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Oct 27, 02:52
Somebody must have passed out!
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