The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers:
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL –
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG
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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/offer
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AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERD – PART STUPID DOG
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2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
One 5-finger, One 3-finger, PAIR: $15
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TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS
OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION
$6800
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83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000
-
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STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15
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SOFT and GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
89 cents
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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
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FREE 1 CAN OF PORK and BEANS
WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
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NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED ***************
CALL CHUBBIE ***************
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BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING
“WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”
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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT…
BEEN OUT A WHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.
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GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN –
89 cents lb.
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FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 – $9 PER HOUR.
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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
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GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
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OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE and DONUTS
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KELLOGG’S POT TARTS – $1.99 box
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FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN – $2.09 lb.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
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