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Creative Remarks For Employee Performance Reviews!

Categories: Work
Added: Tue Jun 05 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 10,705
Rating: - (0 votes)
Creamy CocktailCroaking Grandpa >
Submitted by humor-source
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1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom . . . and has started to dig.”

2. “His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”

3. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”

4. “This employee is really not so much a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ’won’t-be’.”

5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

6. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”

7. “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

8. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

9. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

10. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

11. “This employee should go far . . . and the sooner he starts, the better.”

12. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingie to hold it all together.”

13. “A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”

14. “He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.”

15. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”

16. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”

17. “He’s been working with glue too much.”

18. “He would argue with a signpost.”

19. “He has a knack for making strangers immediately.”

20. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”

21. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”

22. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, . . . he’s the otherone.”

23. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”

24. “A prime candidate for natural deselection.”

25. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”

26. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”

27. “Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”

28. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

29. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”

30. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.”

31. “It’s hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.”

32. “One neuron short of a synapse.”

33. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”

34. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.”

35. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

36. “The lights are dim, and no one is home.”

37. “As of the completion of his initial training period, this man has honed his selling skills to about the sharpness of a marble.”

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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha

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