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Attorney Hunting Regulations

Categories: Professions
Added: Sun Sep 02 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 4,869
Rating: - (0 votes)
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Submitted by humor-source
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A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS

372.01 – Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

372.02 – Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.

372.03 – The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

372.04 – It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft.

372.05 – It is unlawful to shout “Whiplash!”, “Ambulance!”, or “Free Scotch!” for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

372.06 – It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one hundred (100) yards of BMW, Porsche, or Mercedes dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

372.07 – It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within two hundred (200) yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals. No fair, that’s their stompin’ grounds!

372.08 – If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess same.

372.09 – It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

372.10 – Bag Limits Per Day Yellow Bellied Sidewinders
2 – Two-faced Tortfeasors
1 – Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators
3 – Horn Rimmed Cut-throats
2 – Honest Attorneys (ENDANGERED SPECIES)


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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha
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