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College Freshmen vs. Seniors

Categories: Academe
Added: Tue Oct 02 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 9,382
Rating: - (0 votes)
College Entrance Exam - Football Player VersionColumbian Computer Problem >
Submitted by humor-source
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Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon.
Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon.

Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut. Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mt. Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor “Professor.”
Senior: Calls the professor “Bob.”

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it’s further than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor’s habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Maybe…

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Freshmen: Have to ask where the computer labs are.
Seniors: Has ‘own’ personal workstation.

Freshmen: Use the campus buses to go everywhere.
Seniors: Use the campus buses to run block while crossing the street.

Freshmen: Worry about the last freshman composition essay.
Seniors: Worry about the last GRE essay.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October… ….maybe.

Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.
Senior: Calls Domino’s every other night.

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus ‘Subway’ burned down over the summer.

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions
Senior: Offers to ‘tutor’ conscientious frosh of opposite sex…

Freshman: Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving onto campus

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one’s horizons and really make a contribution to society
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class


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