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Baseball vs. Football

Categories: Sports
Added: Sun Oct 28 06:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 6,444
Rating: 1.00 (1 vote)
Bart Simpson's Blackboard QuotationsBassists >
Submitted by humor-source
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth century technological struggle.


Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called soldier field or war memorial stadium.


Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.


In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.


Football is concerned with downs. “What down is it?”
Baseball is concerned with ups. “Who’s up? Are you up? I’m not up! He’s up!”


In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.


Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling, personal fouls, late hitting, and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.


Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.


In football the object is for the quarterback to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! “I hope I’ll be safe at home!”


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