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Complaints of Modern Day Vampires

Added: Mon Oct 29 07:00:00 +0000 2001

Rating: - (0 votes)

Submitted by humor-source

Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren’t taken seriously any more.
After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
After 100 years of trying, still can’t score with Elvira.
No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
No warm blood for miles around DC.
Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards
Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized “hardbodies.”
Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.

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Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
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