Complaints of Modern Day Vampires
|Categories: Holidays / Seasonal|
|Added: Mon Oct 29 07:00:00 -0700 2001||Views: 6,003|
|Rating: - (0 votes)|
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|Submitted by humor-source|
- Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
- Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
- Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
- Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
- Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren’t taken seriously any more.
- After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
- After 100 years of trying, still can’t score with Elvira.
- No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
- With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
- No warm blood for miles around DC.
- Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
- Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards
- Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized “hardbodies.”
- Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
- No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
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