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Complaints of Modern Day Vampires

Categories: Holidays / Seasonal
Added: Mon Oct 29 07:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 5,021
Rating: - (0 votes)
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Submitted by humor-source
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  • Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
  • Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
  • Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
  • Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
  • Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren’t taken seriously any more.
  • After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
  • After 100 years of trying, still can’t score with Elvira.
  • No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
  • With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
  • No warm blood for miles around DC.
  • Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
  • Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards
  • Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized “hardbodies.”
  • Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
  • No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.

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