Redneck Medical Terminology

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Added: Fri Nov 02 00:00:00 MST 2001

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Artery		The study of paintings.
Benign		What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria		Back door to cafeteria.
Barium		What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section		A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan		Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize		Made eye contact with her.
Colic		A sheep dog.
Coma		A punctuation mark.
D&C		Where Washington is.
Dilate		To live long.
Enema		Not a friend.
Fester		Quicker than someone else.
Fibula		A small lie.
Genital		Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series		World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail		What you hang your coat on.
Impotent		Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain		Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff		A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid		A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates		Cheaper than day rates.
Node		I knew it.
Outpatient		A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear		A fatherhood test.
Pelvis		Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative		A letter carrier.
Recovery Room		Place to do upholstery.
Rectum		Darn near killed him.
Secretion		Hiding something
Seizure		Roman emperor.
Tablet		A small table.
Terminal Illness		Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor		More than one.
Urine		Opposite of you’re out
Varicose		Near by

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