Humor Source
Humor Source
Log In
Username

Password



Register!
Get Password

Funny Pictures
Jokes
Weird News
Funny Flash

Feeds
RSS2 Feed RSS
Atom Feed Atom
Add to Google
Add to My AOL

Bookmark
Add Del.icio.us Bookmark!
Add Furl Bookmark!
Add Spurl Bookmark!
Great Stuff!
Hot Free Screensavers!
Hot Legal Weed & Ecstacy!
Cool FREE Personal Horoscope!
New FREE iPod Nano!
Hot FREE email smiley faces!
Cool Hilarious Funny Pranks!
Hot $500 Payday Advance Loan!
New FREE Cell Phone Ringtones!

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek

Categories: Miscellaneous
Added: Thu Nov 08 00:00:00 MST 2001Views: 1,728
Rating: - (0 votes)
If Dr. Seuss was a WomanIf Men Got Pregnant >
Submitted by humor-source
Add Del.icio.us Bookmark! Add Furl Bookmark! Add Spurl Bookmark!

Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star,
  So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast,
  But still the trip will last and last;
  We’ll have two days til we arrive,
  But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
  Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can’t,
  We can’t, we mustn’t, and we shan’t,
  The danger here is far too great!

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

Troi: I’m sensing anger and great ire.

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship’s on fire!

Picard: The ship’s on fire? How could this be?
  Who lit the fire?

Riker: Not me.

Worf: Not me.

Picard: Computer, how long until we die?

Computer: Eight minutes left to say “goodbye”.

Data: May I suggest a course to take?
  We could, I think, quite safely make,
  Extinguishers from tractor beams,
  And stop the fire, or so it seems…

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You’ve saved the day!
  Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
  You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet -

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite…

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
  We understand – we get your gist.
  But can we get our ship to go?
  Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi: There’s sabotage among the wires,
  And that’s what started all the fires.

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
  We need to go! We need to go!

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy,
  And lock him up and ask him, “why?”

Worf: Ask him, “why?” How sentimental.
  I say give him problems dental.

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
  Have scanners said that they’ve been found?
  Or is it Borg or some new threat,
  We haven’t even heard of yet.
  I sense no malice in this crew.
  Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
  They cry out, “Help us, clothe us, feed us!”
  I can’t just sit and let them die!
  A doctor MUST attempt – MUST try!

Picard: Doctor, please, we’ll get there soon.

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

  • COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
      HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? **

Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
  He’s very strong and very big.
  I had my phaser set on stun -
  A zip! A zap! Another one!
  He would not budge, he would not fall,
  He would not stun, no, not at all!
  He changed into a stranger form,
  All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
  Did you see this creature morph?

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
  Hit him on the jaw – quite squarely.

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!
  Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher: Now let’s get our ship to fly,
  And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go?

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.

Picard: Then make it so!


Tell Your Friends About 'If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek'!

Click here!


Great Sites
ASCII Art
Bad Jocks
Blonde Jokes
Cartoons
Christmas Pictures
College Humor
Free Flash Games
Extreme Funny Pictures
Fun Facts
Funny Animals
Funny Celebrity Pictures
Funny Pictures
Funny Posters
Fun Page Exchange
Halloween Pictures
Hot SEXY Funny Pics!
Humor Links
Jokes
Optical Illusions
Political Humor
Tattoos
Tongue Twisters
Video Games
Weird Auctions
Music Video Codes

[ More Links ]







Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 02:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 29, 23:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 10:48
ha ha
more...


Ruby on Rails