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Sure-Fire "Make Money Fast!"

Categories: Parody
Added: Mon Nov 19 07:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 5,012
Rating: - (0 votes)
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Submitted by humor-source
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Hi, my name is Aloysius. Five years ago I had no money. People wanted me to pay for services that I had used, yet I had no funds to pay them with.

Then an amazing thing happened! A friend of mine told me about a place where people get together for about 8 hours at a time. While together, these `employees’ provide services, build things, add value to things, and even manage the activities of others. All this is done in exchange for money, often paid at the completion of 40 hours of activity.

My friend told me that if I joined him, the people at this place would give me money too! In time, they may even give me lots of money, and I mean a LOT of money. Just imagine my joy at being told of a system that would enable me to pay for all the things I want and need!

I was so happy to learn of this system that I set out on a mission. There are too many people on the Internet who have not yet discovered this method of obtaining money. Instead, these misguided souls participate in schemes that promise thousands of dollars in exchange for an illegal five dollar investment.

If you read any Usenet newsgroup on a regular basis, you know the people I mean. They post messages such as: “Big Money NOW”, “Fast Cash NOW” and “Get out of Debt and into Jail, NOW!”

These unfortunates must hear this message of great joy and good fortune: GET A JOB AND STOP FLOODING THE INTERNET WITH GET RICH QUICK SCHEMES!!!

I invite you to join me in this quest. How? Simple! Whenever someone posts an illegal get-rich-quick-scheme to your favorite newsgroup, simply E-mail this letter back to them. An additional step may be required to deliver the good news to people who post these messages under phony e-mail addresses. For them, a hard copy of this letter to their postal address may be required. (They always include a postal address because that’s where they want you to send the BIG MONEY)

It has also been suggested to me that people may wish to send this letter to the Sysop or Postmaster of the letter writer’s Internet Service Provider. I think this is a great idea, and I fully encourage further suggestions for improving the delivery of this good news!

You have my permission to copy this letter. Feel free to add your name to mine and those listed here, (when and if people decide to add their names to this letter), or remain anonymous and send it as is.

Tell Your Friends About 'Sure-Fire "Make Money Fast!"'!

Click here!

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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha

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