Standardized Idiot Reply Form

STANDARDIZED IDIOT REPLY FORM

Dear:
(check all that apply)

[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer       [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser           [ ] Spammer     [ ] Troller
[ ] Me too'er       [ ] Pervert     [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak           [ ] Nerd        [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist          [ ] Fed         [ ] Freak
[ ] Fundamentalist  [ ] Satanist    [ ] Homophobe
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person

I took exception to your recent:

[ ] Email [ ] Post

It was (check all that apply):

[ ] Lame         [ ] Stupid       [ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless     [ ] Idiotic      [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic    [ ] Arrogant     [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous     [ ] Ignorant
[ ] Clueless     [ ] Stupid       [ ] Fundamentalist
[ ] Boring       [ ] Dim          [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful    [ ] Demented     [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy        [ ] Weird        [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome    [ ] Satanic      [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent  [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any thought of which you are capable.

Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] What you posted has been done before
[ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather
    than in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] You must have spent your life in a skinner box to be this clueless
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable. Each
      line just goes on and on, not stopping at anywhere close to 75
      characters, making it hard to read
[ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OwL
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet
[ ] You are a loser
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
      worthless that you are being flamed on general principles

It is recommended that you:

[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] Stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] Stop sending Email and get a life
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] Get a gun and shoot yourself
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[ ] Consume excrement
[ ] Consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're
    doing

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this
    form