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A World Wide Web Night Before Christmas

Categories: Holidays / Seasonal
Added: Sat Dec 15 07:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 5,244
Rating: - (0 votes)
A Woman's Random ThoughtsBabies in the Womb >
Submitted by humor-source
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‘Twas the night before Christmas
and there I just sat,
web-surfing and hoping
for an IRC chat.


My wife was in e-mail
my daughter as well,
my son trying to figure out HTML


When up on the roof
there arose such a clatter!
But we didn’t budge, thinking
“What does it matter?”


My daughter thought, “Squirrels”
my wife thought so too.
Son said, “Check it out, Dad”
I said, “Why don’t YOU?”


“I’m busy!” he said
“So am I!” I replied.
“I can’t get this site up
though God knows I’ve tried!”


Then down from the chimney
some fat guy appeared
attired in red with
white hair and a beard.


“Yule Greetings!” he cried
with a wink and a stare
I’ve brought you all gifts!
Come see, if you care!"


We gathered around
in anticipation
but for Santa, ‘twas nothing
but endless frustration.


“I asked for a scanner!”
my son said in rage.
I need to scan photos
for my new home page."


“And she wanted Java”
said my wife for my daughter
as she stared at the sweater
and bracelet he’d brought her.


“I needed a browser,”
I said with surprise
Then we saw the sadness,
the tear in his eyes.


“My elves tried their best”
the fat man said sadly.
We all felt just awful for
behaving so badly.


“This web stuff ain’t easy”
he said, “I’m still learning.”
“In fact it’s a web site
and home page I’M yearning.”


“It’s all so confusing
and daunting to me.
And where I come from
there’s no ISP!”


We served him hot chocolate
with cookies and such
at least he was grateful
and thanked us so much.


Then turning his head,
he said, “It’s time to go”
But I grabbed his arm
And simply said, “No.”


I said “All these years
while I have been living
It’s always been you
who’s done all the giving.”


My wife smiled at me
then I said, “What the hell?
Let’s work to build Santa
his own URL!”


For the first time in months
regardless of weather
my family was working
no, playing together.


We built him a web site
with e-mail and more.
A newsgroup, some jpegs
and virtual gift store.


And when we were finished
he looked on in wonder.
He chuckled, then shouted,
voice booming like thunder:


“You’ve done it! You’ve done it!
he shouted with glee.
In truth, there was no one
more happy than me.


“How can I repay you?”
said Santa so dearly
“You already have!”
we all said sincerely.


We knew he was choked up
he spoke while still coughin’
and said “You should really
all get out more often!”


He laughed as he said it
then added, “I’m leaving,
but thanks for the web site
… and thanks for believing!”


And we all heard him say
as his voice broke the calm:
“Merry Christmas! Come visit
”http://www.santa.com" target="_blank">www.santa.com!"


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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha
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