Humor Source
Humor Source
Log In
Username

Password



Register!
Get Password

Funny Pictures
Jokes
Weird News
Funny Flash

Subscribe!
Great Stuff!
Hot Free Screensavers!
Hot Legal Weed & Ecstacy!
Cool FREE Personal Horoscope!
New FREE iPod Nano!
Hot FREE email smiley faces!
Cool Hilarious Funny Pranks!
Hot $500 Payday Advance Loan!
New FREE Cell Phone Ringtones!

An AOL Night Before Christmas

Categories: Holidays / Seasonal
Added: Sun Dec 23 07:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 4,954
Rating: 5.00 (1 vote)
Anal DeodorantAn Atheist in the Woods >
Submitted by humor-source
Bookmark and Share

Twas a month before Christmas
From my wife came the wail,
"Take out the garbage
And go get the mail."


So I trudged to my mailbox
And what did I see?
Why, a miniature disc
And computer CD!


‘Twas a limited offer
From America Online,
I knew in a twinkling
That this deal was fine!


"Unlimited" access
for one little fee,
And if I didn’t like it
I could cancel it free.


So I plugged the thing in
And it just wouldn’t load,
The message said "Error!"
And something in code.


And this is when I
Started getting real nervous
So I waited four hours
For "Customer Service."


This techno-geek helped me
To load and install it,
Then demanded the VISA
I keep in my wallet.


So I gave him my number
And what did I spy?
"Terms and Conditions" screens
Whistling by.


Then I got me a password
Now I’d surf the Net!
But I never hit waves,
Man, I never got wet.


I soon got so mad
I was shaking and dizzy
For my modem kept trying
But lines were all busy!


And all through the month
I kept trying this thing
But all I would hear
Was the "busy" sound ring.


So I called 1-800
And the AOL number
And waited on hold
‘Til I lapsed into slumber.


So I tried then to cancel
But where’s the address?
Somewhere in Virginia?
It’s anyone’s guess.


And several days later
I heard on the news
That 8 million people
Were trying to use


This AOL network
At the very same time
And that’s when this CEO
Weasel-necked Slime


Announced the solution
On how to log on,
Don’t hog the phone lines
And call in at dawn!


As you can imagine
This didn’t sit well
With lots of mad users
Who started to yell.


And soon the AG’s
Joined them in the attack,
"Give them their money
(Or at least part of it back)!"


And this Weasel-Man leader
Tried to calm down the throng:
"Hey, I wanted those refunds
For you all along!"


So in grandiose fashion
And a big press release
Members were told
How to get back their piece.


"Just call up this number
And ask for your money,"
But then something happened
That’s practically funny.


When you call up the number
(Don’t get in a tizzy)
You can’t get your refund
Cause the damn number’s busy!!!


Tell Your Friends About 'An AOL Night Before Christmas'!

Click here!


Great Sites
ASCII Art
Bad Jocks
Blonde Jokes
Cartoons
Christmas Pictures
College Humor
Free Flash Games
Extreme Funny Pictures
Fun Facts
Funny Animals
Funny Celebrity Pictures
Funny Pictures
Funny Posters
Fun Page Exchange
Halloween Pictures
Hot SEXY Funny Pics!
Humor Links
Jokes
Optical Illusions
Political Humor
Tattoos
Tongue Twisters
Video Games
Weird Auctions
Music Video Codes

[ More Links ]







Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha
more...


Ruby on Rails