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The Fellowship of the Ring - Ultra-Condensed Version

Categories: Parody
Added: Thu Dec 27 07:00:00 +0000 2001Views: 5,165
Rating: - (0 votes)
The Drinkers AlphabetThe Future of Microsoft >
Submitted by humor-source
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The Fellowship of the Ring
Ultra-Condensed Version
By J. R. R. Tolkien


-——————————————————————————————————————-


Gandalf


Bilbo Baggins, your Ring is evil. In a couple decades, we’ll try to destroy it. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with.


Bilbo Baggins


It’s not evil. It’s mine. My precious. Mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!! MOOHOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(Frodo takes it to RIVENDELL. Some FRIENDS come with him. They are attacked by black riders a LOT, and it is SCARY.)


Elrond


Frodo Baggins, if Sauron ever gets this Ring, the world will be destroyed, and evil will reign forever. We must act quickly. Take the Ring to where he lives.


(They do some travelling. Some more FRIENDS come with him. Gandalf DIES in the mines of Moria, but will later be RESURRECTED in GLORIFIED form having triumphed over EVIL, an obvious literary ALLUSION to that movie where the guy comes back as a DOG.)


Boromir


Frodo Baggins, give me the Ring.


Frodo


No.


Boromir


What have I done? (dies)


THE END


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