You Know You're A 'Ho' When...

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Added: Fri Jan 18 00:00:00 MST 2002

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Submitted by humor-source

You’ve slept with Geraldo Rivera.
You become a Vaseline spokesperson.
You go through a Sealy Mattress™ a week.
Frederick actually comes to your door himself just to see where 1/2 of his orders go.
When people say, “Ho, Ho, Ho” and it’s July.
Your baby looks familiar, but like who?
When they change your # to 976.
Tetracycline is your best friend.
McDonald’s calls you “The Happy Meal.”
Changing your sheets comes more than once a day.
When you’ve got a “Take a Number” machine at your door.
When getting dressed is not part of your day.
Your day starts and ends by rolling over.
When your screams are heard over a fir aalarm.
When you’re wearing more latex tha sspandex.
When your ceiling mirrors fog.
When the Marine Corps does recruitmen ooutside your door.
When you have a neon sign saying ””Open All Night.”
You want to have your name changed t MMisty.
Madonna comes to you for pointers.
When your favorite quote is, “Nex pplease.”
When Guinness Book starts calling.
When every song reminds you of someone bbut who?
When he doesn’t even have to buy you ddrink.
When you have a room key to every hote iin town.
When Holiday Inn is coming after you fo ttheir linen.
Motel 6 signals you in with runwa llights.
The only place you haven’t had sex is o tthe moon.
When soft foods have become distasteful.
When you and your cat have the sam ttongue consistency.
When other women begin to call you ””Man’s Best Friend.”
You and Prince have already made rrecords.

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