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An Atheist in the Woods

Categories: Religious
Added: Sat Jan 19 00:00:00 MST 2002Views: 3,125
Rating: - (0 votes)
An AOL Night Before ChristmasAnnoying Greeting! >
Submitted by humor-source
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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run faster still. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear… right on top of him… reaching for him with the left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...."

Suddenly, time stopped. The bear froze in motion. The forest was ever so silent. Even the river ceased to move. As a brilliant ray of light emerged from the sky and shone upon the man, a powerful voice spoke to him, "You have denied my existence for all of these years; you teach others that I do not exist and you credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you now as a believer?"

The atheist blinked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to convert to a Christian after all these years, but could you instead make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice from above. The bright light disappeared. All of a sudden, life resumed around the man. The river ran again. The forest became alive once more with the gentle sounds of nature.

The bear stirred. Slowly, he lowered his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and graciously spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."


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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 02:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 29, 23:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 10:48
ha ha
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