Why Climbing is Better than Sex (A Man's Perspective)

When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection !
You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans it for you, provided you don’t put it in too deep.
You can leave your protection in for the next guy.
There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
You can get belayed without first bekissing.
A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense.
The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
Dry friction is a positive quality when you’re climbing.
The rocks don’t care if you show up late.
The rocks don’t complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
When you’re climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
Your belayer never hesitates when you yell “TAKE!”
When you’re climbing, weird body positions are considered “cool”.
The rocks don’t scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
The rocks don’t complain when you don’t want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
A three-finger pocket isn’t too big.
You don’t have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
If you pop off early, the only one mad at you is yourself.
If you end up with little bumps on your skin, you can probably blame Poison Ivy or mosquitoes.
The gear is safer. And reusable.
Chalk is easier to get off the hands.
No one thinks you’re weird if you have to feel around for a hole/hold.
Climbing w/o gear is safer than sex without gear. At least if you die, you die fast.
Always something to do with your feet.
Routes have safety grades, sex partners don’t. I’ve never had a partner with a G on her forehead.
Its ok to stick your hands, feet, fingers, knees, nose, etc into any and all cracks while climbing.
You don’t have to wash your climbing toys after using them.
The positions are more fun.
Climbing gets safer over the years, sex gets more dangerous.
If you fail, you can always get a second chance.
Choice of novice or expert routes.
A climb can last all day.
Guidebooks tell you who did the 1st ascent and how many time it’s been done.
Lots of tight cracks.
The only rubber you wear is on your feet.
There are still rocks that haven’t been touched.
I actually have someone to climb with.