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The Future of Microsoft

Categories: Companies
Added: Sat Mar 02 07:00:00 +0000 2002Views: 5,045
Rating: - (0 votes)
The Fellowship of the Ring - Ultra-Condensed VersionThe Gay Nun >
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As we “celebrate” the first 25 years of Microsoft, we take a look ahead at what the future holds for the next 25 years at Microsoft…

2001 .NET system goes online, human decisions are removed from the office environment.

2001 2:14am, August 29th, .NET become self-aware, corporations try to pull the plug but it’s too late, .NET strikes back.

2002 Internet Explorer 6.0 for Windows released.

2004 Supreme Court rules to break up Microsoft.

2005 President Gates disbands Supreme Court, orders break up of Sun Microsystems, IBM and Oracle.

2006 Windows 2004 released.

2007 Microsoft purchases Napster-Disney-Cisco-Coke-Ford-Avis to compete with Oracle-AOL-3Com-Pepsi-GM-Hertz and GE.

2008 Windows NT 4.0 Service Pack 84 released.

2009 Gates’ second term as President begins.

2010 Microsoft Office surpasses the 18 Terabyte mark.

2012 Windows 2010 Service Pack 1 released.

2013 Windows 2010 released.

2015 Microsoft releases Internet Explorer 6.0 for Apple Macintosh.

2016 Microsoft enhances their only innovation by introducing the “Red Screen of Death.”

2020 Bill Gates purchases Linus Torvalds.

2021 Researchers develop first crash-proof operating system, then destroy it. They are just that evil.

2024 Microsoft genetic engineers realize Bill Gates’ childhood dream and develop the first talking rabbit.

2025 A reunited Backstreet Boys perform at the 50th anniversary of the founding of Microsoft.


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