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Favorite Answers From Hollywood Squares

Categories: Celebrities
Added: Mon May 13 06:00:00 +0000 2002Views: 6,472
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Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk? 
Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your apartment. 

Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at 
a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to 
come out directly and ask him if he’s married? 
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. 

Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish 
as you get older? 
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. 

Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words 
to say “I love you”? 
Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. 

Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain 
by the gods because he had given something to man. What did 
he give us? 
Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt. 

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t 
Get Enough”? 
George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next 
apartment. 

Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more 
or less with your hands while you are talking? 
Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question,Peter… 
and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget! 

Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy 
on a woman? 
Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way… 

Peter Marshall: What are “dual purpose” cattle good for 
that other cattle aren’t? 
Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies…but I don’t recommend 
the cookies! 

Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying unconscious in the 
street, should you do anything? 
George Goebel: I’d probably crawl around him I guess. 

Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? 
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 

Peter Marshall: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. 
Are you going to get any during your first year? 
Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing 
strawberries! 

Peter Marshall: In bowling, what’s a perfect score? 
Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 

Peter Marshall: Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational 
Research, a wife should be beware if another woman takes an 
interest in a certain item of her husband’s clothing. What item? 
Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind… 

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects 
at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other? 
Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 

Peter Marshall: True or false? A pea can last as long as 5,000 years. 
George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes… 

Peter Marshall: Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights 
in this country? 
Charley Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can fly. 

Peter Marshall: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or 
in the closet? 
Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom. 

Peter Marshall: Can boys join the Campfire Girls? 
Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 

Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag 
his tail. What will a goose do? 
Paul Lynde: Make him bark. 

Peter Marshall: True or false, George? Experts say there are only 
seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant. 
George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em. 

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you 
give birth to? 
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. 

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong 
with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? 
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army! 

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have 
more than one daddy? 
Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch! 

Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide starts 
shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does that mean? 
George Goebel: Cattle crossing. 

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your 
body – what is it? 
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected! 

Peter Marshall: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more 
than 150 pounds? 
Charley Weaver: A divorcee. 

Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put 
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? 
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 

Peter Marshall: According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret 
would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants 
her to wait a while. Why? 
Paul Lynde: He’s out of town. 

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters 
star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?” Who plays Helen? 
Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver – that’s why they asked the question. 

Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, 
your wife or your elephant? 
Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 

Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible 
for its sex? 
Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. 

Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when 
he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best 
things I ever did.” What was it? 
Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming. 

Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly 
believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. 
What are they? 
Charley Weaver: His feet. 

Peter Marshall: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should 
be at least how high? 
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak? 
Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water. 

Peter Marshall: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are 
you probably a man or a woman? 
Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake. 

Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he loves 
to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit? 
Joan Rivers: Yes. It’s daddy’s turn.

When the Lone Ranger finished
with a case, he left something
behind.
What?
PAUL LYNDE: A masked baby.

True or false: Many people
sleep better in their street
clothes
than they do in their pajamas.
PAUL LYNDE: Yes. We call them
winos.

When you give a waitress a "tip", the letters T-I-P stand for
something. What?
PAUL LYNDE: This is pastrami?!?


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Latest Comments
Poop Head
Oct 27, 08:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 30, 05:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
Boredom at Walmart
Jun 8, 16:48
ha ha
more...


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