(posted on a computer in the office)
This machine is subject to breakdowns during
periods of critical need.
A special circuit in the machine called a
‘critical detector’ senses the operator’s
emotional state in terms of how desperate he
or she is to use the machine. The ‘critical
detector’ then creates a malfunction
proportional to the desperation of the
operator. Threatening the machine with
violence only aggravates the situation.
Likewise, attempts to use another machine may
cause it to also malfunction. They belong to
the same union. Keep cool and say nice things
to the machine. Nothing else seems to work.