57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH
Mulder: We're too late! It's already been here.
Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing.
Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas
fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls
decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the
chimney, with care.
Scully: You really think someone's been here?
Mulder: Someone ... or something.
Scully: Mulder, over here-it's a fruitcake.
Mulder: Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal.
Scully: It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna find
out who's naughty and nice."
Mulder: It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list.
Scully: Who? What are you talking about?
Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid
entity who could travel at great speed in a craft
powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near
the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend
from the heavens to reward its followers and punish
disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.
Scully: But that's legend, Mulder-a story told by
parents to frighten children. Surely you don't
believe it?
Mulder: Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out
the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore
through this plate of cookies was massive-and in a
hurry.
Scully: It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder,
this milk glass has been completely drained.
Mulder: It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse.
Scully: But why would they leave it milk and cookies?
Mulder: Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing
can stop its wilding.
Scully: But if this thing does exist, how did it get
in? The doors and windows were locked. There's no
sign of forced entry.
Mulder: Unless I miss my guess, it came through the
fireplace.
Scully: Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some
huge creature landed on the roof and came down this
chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely six
inches wide. Nothing could get down there.
Mulder: But what if it could alter its shape, move
in all directions at once?
Scully: You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?
Mulder: Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this,
but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the
creature. It had long white shanks of fur surrounding
its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red
and white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away,
and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the
facial features of my father.
Scully: Impossible.
Mulder: I know what I saw. And that night it read my
mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew
that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!
Scully: I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to
disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe
in some supernatural being who soars across the skies
and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. Listen
to what you're saying. Do you understand the
repercussions? If this gets out, they'll close the
X-files.
Mulder: Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're
sleeping. It knows when you're awake.
Scully: But we have no proof.
Mulder: Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio
telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over
twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a
Condition Red.
Scully: But that was a meteor shower.
Mulder: Officially. Two days ago, eight prized
Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo,
in Washington, D.C. Nobody-not even the zookeeper-was
told about it. The government doesn't want people to
know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this
thing is proved to exist the public will stop spending
half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy.
Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let
the world believe this creature lives. There's too
much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure
another silent night.
Scully: Mulder, I-
Mulder: Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear?
Scully: On the roof. It sounds like ... a clatter.
Mulder: The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter.
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