During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. She pinched
him into silence, and after church asked: “Gary, whatever made you
do such a thing?” Gary answered soberly: “I asked God to teach me to
whistle..and He just then did!”
One night Mike’s parents overheard this prayer: “Now I lay me
down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow’s test, If I should die
before I wake, that’s one less test I have to take.”
A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God,thank
you for these pancakes…” When he concluded, his parents asked
him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken.
He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention
tonight.”
A little boy’s prayer: “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and
my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh,
please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you,
we’re gonna be in a big mess.”
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says
your prayers for you each night. Very commendable. What does she
say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”.
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the
blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied. “Just say
what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. The little girl bowed her
head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these
people to dinner?”
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a
while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over
and then said a prayer.
“Fine,” said the pleased mother. “If you ask
God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.”
“Oh, I didn’t ask
Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you
put up with me.”
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if You can’t make me
a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time
like I am!”
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