Herman Herchsberglersteiningtonson III
598 Pine Grove
Springfield, Alaska 00001
(1 – 900) 328 – 7448
Objective:
I would like, want to tell you guys that I like, am an awesome dude. I like, work hard and stuff, and I like, know a lot of good ways to think about shit and stuff. I like, would be like, really good at working for your Mobile Station, because I like, read a lot of magazines and stuff, and I like have a subscription to Off-Roading Magazine, so I like, know a lot of astuff about like, cars and trucks and stuff, so I think I should be payed for this stuff, so I want to like, work for you guys and stuff.
Experience:
From like, 1982 until like, now or something, I lived with my parents, and when my Mom or Pop told me to like get up and do something, I like showed a lot of balls, and like told them to leave me alone and stuff. I think you need people like me at the Mobile Station, because I can work real hard and stuff, but I like, know when it is time to like, relax and let other people take care of their responsibilities and stuff.
Education:
From like, when I was like, 5 or some-shit, I went to school, but the teachers were like, always giving me shit because I like told them to go away when they asked for the crappy work papers they wanted and stuff. On the whole, I think that school sucks a walrus’s urethral infected penis, and I like hate going there and stuff. Besides, I know how to read, so I like can learn all kinds of cool stuff from the magazines I read. Like, do you know what a “Hot Carl” is? Well, I will tell you later dudes. And I like, read the Lord of the Rings a bunch of times, so I know a lot of like, long words and stuff, but I can’t think of any like, right now, okay?
Tips:
I don’t know what kind of advice I could give you guys, except that like, if you never move, you never sweat, and if you never sweat, you never need to like, take a shower. Enjoy yourself when you take a dump and stuff, because pooping is like, the best thing ever. Also, if you let them, your teeth will clean themselves, and I have found this out by running an ongoing experiment for like, the last 5 years, and so far, the results are mixed, but it will pay off, I swear dude, no joke.
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