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Avoiding Identity Theft

Categories: Miscellaneous
Added: Thu Sep 25 00:00:00 MDT 2003Views: 1,752
Rating: - (0 votes)
Australian VirginA Warmonger Explains War to a Peacenik >
Submitted by humor-source
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It’s important to remember that even though identity thieves are among the lowest of criminals, they aren’t necessarily stupid. It’s a common tactic for thieves to prey upon those who offer the greatest “return” on the investment of the thieves’ time.

Those most at risk are likely to have a number of common factors: high-limit or even limitless credit cards, excellent credit ratings, a complex network of high-balance accounts in various banks, a significant amount of money in savings and investments, etc.

In order to best protect yourself and your loved ones, I recommend that you minimize your profile to the would-be thieves. There are a number of simple steps you can take to ensure your safety.

For example:
  • Do you have student loans? If so, consider letting the payments slip a little. Nobody wants an identity that can’t take out student loans!
  • Keeping up on your car payments? Stop. Thieves are less likely to steal the identity of someone who is being harassed by a repo man. As an added bonus, your chances of being victim to auto-theft just decreased significantly!
  • Do you have a mortgage? Possibly, but I doubt you have enough of them! No thief wants to inherit the wrath of a bank trying to track down three mortgages’ worth of money!
  • How are your long-term investments? CD’s? Mutual funds? Privately-managed portfolio? It doesn’t matter; all of these glitter to the eyes of a veteran identity thief. You are much safer holding your money in an interest-free highly-liquid invesment account (coffee can). By reducing your apparent (and real) wealth, you become a much less desirable target.
  • Employed? Then why not just toss your credit cards out the window? Nothing says “bullseye” like reliable employment.
And consider this: when’s the last time your heard someone in the unemployment line complain about identity theft – never? Nobody likes to go through the effort of stealing an identity only to be rewarded with food stamps and meager checks.

In the end, identity theft will remain a significant problem in America—but only to those unlucky enough to ignore the above advice. The intelligent self-accountant will even find some more creative ways to be less attractive to thieves; consider child-support payments, court-ordered deportation, and terrorist sponsorship as well! Your safety in these trying times is only limited by your imagination.

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Poop Head
Oct 27, 02:52
Somebody must have passed out!
Please Stop Giving Me Tickets!
Aug 29, 23:30
Yeah, I'm sure that'll change the cop's mind.
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